From Having to Well-Being

The first condition to overcome one´s selfishness lies in the capacity of being aware of it. (...) The second step to take is gaining an awareness of the roots of the having orientation, such as one´s sense of powerlessness, one´s fear of life, one´s fear of the uncertain, one´s distrust of people, and the many other subtle roots that have grown together so thickly.
Awareness of these roots is not sufficient condition, either. It must be accompanied by changes in practice, first of all by loosening the grip that selfishness has over one by beginning to let go. One must give up something, share, and go through the anxiety that these first little steps engender. One will discover, then, the fear of losing oneself that develops if one contemplates losing things, which function has props for one's sense of self. This implies not only giving up some possessions, but, even more important, habits, accustomed thoughts, identification with one's status, even phrases one is accustomed to hold on to, as well as the image that others may have of oneself (or that one hopes they have and tries to produce); in brief, if one tries to change routinized behaviour in all spheres of life from breakfast routine to sex routine. In the process of trying to do so, anxieties are mobilized, and by not yielding to them confidence grows that the seemingly impossible can be done - and adventurousness grows. This process must be accompanied by attempting to go out of oneself and to turn to others.
(...)
To sum up: Awareness, will, practice, tolerance of fear and of new experience, they are all necessary if transformation of the individual is to succeed. At a certain point the energy and direction of inner forces have changed to the point where an individual's sense of identity has changed, too. In the property mode of existence the motto is : "I am what I have." After the breakthrough it is "I am what I do" (in the sense of unalienated activity; or simply "I am what I am".

in The Art of Being by Erich Fromm